We spend a great deal of time in our degrees talking about self-improvement — building our character, strengthening our minds, and for some of us, that translates into even working on our physical and mental health. But there is one dimension of well-being that often gets overlooked, and that is social fitness.
My friend and colleague Dr. Troy Glover at the University of Waterloo, has begun using this term to describe how intentionally we maintain and strengthen our social connections. Just like physical fitness, social fitness is not accidental. It requires practice, consistency, and effort.
The reality harsh reality is: We treat social connection like a luxury. The data shows it’s a necessity.
- If you’re in your 20s – this is when you will have the most friendships in your life.
- If you’re in your 30s – this is where friendships go to die – competing priorities take over and connections suffer, and you start to see the ‘Friendship Cliff’ as people just fall out of your life.
- If you’re in your 50’s or later – you’ve seen the “Friendship Cliff” and may have few, if any, close friendships left.
Isolation and loneliness have been shown to have serious impacts on both mental and physical health. A lack of social connection increases your risk of early death more than smoking 15 cigarettes a day, and almost half of Canadians report feeling lonely sometimes, often or always. Surprisingly, an 84-year study of Adult Development out of Harvard showed that ‘warm relationships, not money or status was the strongest predictor of long-term health.”
Now, as Freemasons, this should resonate deeply with us. Our fraternity is built on brotherly love. Not abstract love — active love. Fellowship. Conversation. Presence. Encouragement. Support. These are not passive values. They are lived values. Practiced values.
The act of coming to lodge is only one way to practice social fitness for ourselves, but…
- When was the last time you reached out to someone whose name was mentioned in Sick and Visitation?
- We toast ‘to absent brethren’ when we go upstairs but when was the last time you called, texted a brother you haven’t seen in a couple months?
By taking this extra step – we’re strengthening our own social fitness as well as theirs.
Here is an important point — and one that often gets missed. Social fitness does not look the same for everyone.
Some of us recharge by being around many people. Others are more reserved. Some of you may thrive on frequent conversations and group settings. Others may prefer a few deeper, meaningful interactions. Both are valid. Both are healthy.
For one brother, social fitness might mean connecting with five different people in a month. For another, it might mean intentionally reaching out to one or two people and having a genuine conversation. The goal is not quantity. The goal is intentional connection.
Let me give a few practical examples of what social fitness can look like in everyday life:
- It can be as simple as striking up a friendly conversation while waiting in line at the grocery store.
- It can be choosing to attend a lodge meeting even when staying home feels easier. This one is big for me! I’ve definitely had nights where I didn’t want to come to lodge, but felt really glad I did once I got home after the meeting.
- It can be joining a group fitness class instead of working out alone.
- It can be signing up for a class or lecture at your local library or community centre — woodworking, fitness, history, anything that sparks your interest.
- It can be sitting down for coffee with a brother you haven’t spoken to in a while.
- It can even be making a habit of greeting your neighbours, or checking in on a friend who has gone quiet.
These small acts may seem insignificant, but they compound. Just like lifting weights builds strength over time, small social efforts build stronger networks, stronger communities, and stronger men.
And here is the honest truth: in today’s world, it is easier than ever to become socially passive. For the younger brethren, we can scroll and stream until our eyes glaze over, and for the older brethren its easy to stay comfortably isolated without even realizing it.
But comfort is not growth. And Masonry has never been about choosing the path of least resistance. Think about the lesson of the rough and perfect ashlar.
We are builders. Builders of ourselves. Builders of our communities. Builders of brotherhood. If we truly believe in brotherly love, then social engagement is not optional — it is a responsibility. Not just inside the lodge, but outside of it as well.
The world does not need more men who are merely present online.
- It needs more men who are present in their communities.
- Men who speak. Men who listen. Men who connect.
So I ask each of you to reflect honestly: What does your social fitness look like? What can you do to improve it?
Start small. Start realistically. But start intentionally.
Brethren, strengthening our social fitness is not about becoming more outgoing. It is about becoming more connected. More engaged. More aligned with the values we already profess.
If we can improve our social fitness, we do more than improve our own well-being — we strengthen our brotherhood, our lodges, and our communities.
And that, I would argue, is deeply Masonic work.